Wednesday, July 13, 2011


Often I am struck with the Blogging-Muse...but only lightly; a Muse tap you could say.  I'll think of a topic, and think, wow, yea, that would make a great blog post.  But then I never get to it, or it would be too short once I thought it through, or...whatever!

So, drum-roll please, here it is ladies and gents: the One-Liner Blog!

Now, you mustn't just read through for your own amusement, you've got a job!  You have to vote on your favorite one OR the one that you would most like to see as an actual blog posting.  The winning one-liner gets graduated to official blog status in the next posting.  Ja?

Now, just in case you clicked here because you were looking for some actual one-liners, I have included a few here below courtesy of One Linerz' Top 100 List (**disclaimer: NOT rated G**).

9 - Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

12 - We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

14 - Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

16 - Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

19 - The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

100 - Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

OK, now the Offical One-Liner Blogs! (First Edition)

Folks, it's ante pasta, not anti pasta, it comes before, not against the noodles!

Things I found in the register-vent floor-grate courtesy of my son: 3 spoons, a pen and  a key chain.

Giving report at the end of shift is necessary for the psychological well-being of nurses.  Also bragging rights.

Why does "Stop, don't, come back!" translate into "As soon as I stop talking go right back to eating/touching that dangerous/disgusting object" in baby language?

There is something philosophical or theological to be said of the fact that mothers are often described as having their hands full.

I just was told, a little over 4 months after starting work at the nursing home, that there is an entire quality control task (read: useless paperwork invented by state inspectors) that I have never done.

Leo likes to help with the laundry.  He helps the folded ones onto the floor.

Often when I write on the back of family photos I act as though that particular photo were going to be the only one surviving the next great Ice Age, and thus I proceed to write down everything thereon.

Leo pushes his toy truck faster than you can run.  And makes truck noises whilst doing it.

Bramble the goat can hop her fence.

There are people in my Facebook news feed whom I don't know if I know.

I secretly (not anymore!) hope that one day a collection of all of the letters I write to people will become a published best-selling book.

"...because God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame." --Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Now, don't forget to VOTE!