'The Glass Castle" (and Downton Abbey): Pick your Poison

I just finished reading Jeannette Walls' book 'The Glass Castle', and I can't stop thinking about it. Walls pulls her reader through a deep and dark saga that left me feeling melancholy, yet amazed, incredibly blessed, and with a new outlook on humanity. I'm not exaggerating, I promise.

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The book made me think about lots of things. About my childhood, about my children's childhood, about how lucky I am, and about the choices people make.

When my friend Ann gave me the book to read, she said that it was depressing. Trying to figure out if it was worth my time, I asked if it were also redemptive. This has been my gauge on depressing books since freshman year of high school, when we had to read Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton. I discussed the book with my Dad, probably just complaining about how awful it was, and Dad taught me that Ethan Frome wasn't just awful, it lacked redemption.

...and then they made a movie out of it?!
photo source (+me)

What I didn't know then (thanks to my blessedly lucky and wonderfully naive childhood, and my loving parents...!), but for sure and certain know now, is that life isn't always a chair of bowl-ies.

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But what of this "redemptive" business? Cannot there be suffering without painting it pink and calling in the clowns? Back to Ann giving me the book. To answer my question, she told me about how the author's parents *chose* to live as homeless people. Ann told me that the book showed how sometimes people make surprising choices in life.

I devoured the book in two days (which is significant, considering the amount of trouble Leo and Daniel can get into...or maybe they got into extra trouble because I was reading? Shhhhh!)

There were multiple instances in the book that started to make my skin crawl. Nearly every page recounts experiences that would land the best of us in counseling for decades, and Walls' parents in prison for child endangerment and neglect. And yet, Jeannette Walls does not have a tone of regret or complaint in her narrative. She relates the stories as just what happened to her and her family. She tells them as someone who has lived through quite a lot, has learned and grown from it, but has not let it embitter her or harm her in the long term. Now, these conclusions on my part are entirely speculative. For all I know Ms. Walls has spent decades in therapy to come to this point. However, she does not leave the reader feeling this way.

The reader of 'The Glass Castle' is left in a sort of awe at the maturity of the Walls children, and baffled at the choices of the Walls parents. And yet, with Walls' talented authorship, you aren't allowed to feel sorry for any of them. The choices that Rex and Mary Walls make are dangerous to their family, but Jeannette leaves them there, they are just choices. She describes vividly the consequences of the choices, but she doesn't seek to tie you to them, to make you sick with the unfairness or the ugliness in any of it.

So, what's the verdict? Is the book redemptive? Does it pass the Ethan Frome test? (EF Test: tie the book to a sled, push it down a hill...). Yes, I believe it does. And stay with me, because I don't think I'm trying to gloss over anything, or to see everything through rose-colored glasses (read: I'm alright with having a book fail the EF test...).

Let me digress to illustrate...since watching the first few episodes of Downton Abbey's Season 4, I have been reflecting a lot lately on suffering, especially suffering that is inflicted on us by another. Episode 2 had me antsy for days. If you know me, or have read some of my thoughts before, you know that some suffering scares me. I've decided (because it's flattering) that this is partly because I am empathetic to people, even if they are *just* TV characters. But I think the deeper issue is my need to see the redemption in any suffering. Suffering for its own sake, or inflicted at the cruel and twisted whim of an evil heart, makes my blood boil.

you're killin' me smalls...
photo source (+me)

I have learned recently through reading some posts by Anne over @ModernMrsDarcy, that the dramatic reactions I have to mere fictional stories could be that I am perhaps a "Highly Sensitive Person" (think you are too? Take the quiz here. Just like taking quizzes? Click here instead.)

I can take this information that I may be a HSP (as ModernMrs.Darcy puts it), and decide never to read or view content that sets me off. This may seem like over-kill, but I think that some moderation, in light of the emotional train wreck that my brain goes through for several days following such stuff, is not dramatic. I need to find the balance between hiding from the dark, and letting it make me cower.  Avoiding books or TV shows with such content, to leave room in my emotional bank for real-life situations is probably something I need to consider seriously.

Beyond finding out more about myself, I am becoming more and more aware that ultimately, there is a lot of choice in life. I don't seek to erase this part of myself, for there are benefits to draw from being sensitive. I am an empathetic person, who can often sense a solution to a problem or the particular help a person might need. This is good. But part of my sensitivity can be balm-ed by the knowledge that much of life's pain an suffering is caused by mere people's mere choices. And this is what I have learned most concretely from The Glass Castle. People can choose to be cruel, vindictive, twisted, malicious and even evil, but I can choose how I react. I can choose to love. I can choose to be respectful in the face of callousness. I can choose healing over hurt.

How can this be?

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord" (Romans 12:19)

Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly. (Deuteronomy 32:35) 

When I "cast all my anxiety" (1 Peter 5:7) on God, I am free to let go and let be. I do not have to let the cares of the world weigh me down. This does not mean that I go through life as an uncaring block of ice, no. I can still empathize and care for people, but my care does not have to shake my core. My dismay does not need to detract from my duties and desires.

I can take a page from Jeannette Walls' book, (quite literally !), and find myself at peace amidst the turmoil I witness.

What's on YOUR Bookshelf?

This is a fun link-up hosted by Anne @ Modern Mrs. Darcy to talk about...what's on our shelves!  I've also always wanted to join Jessica @ Housewifespice for {What We're Reading Wednesday} AND I haven't joined Jen @ Conversion Diary for {7 Quick Takes} in for-ever...so let's have another round of (drum-roll please...)

So, with as much ado as possible...here's {7 favorites} {on my bookshelf} that {I've read from, sometimes on Wednesdays}.  

I am very proud of this graphic that I made using pixlr.com

1. These are some handy-man/how-to books that are fun to look through for ideas.

2. Anna Karenina. In college, my professor had us read War&Peace instead, on the grounds that if we were going to read more Tolstoy later, we should probably read W&P first, because who would read it other than for a class.  Good thinking, but I still haven't gotten past the first few chapters of AK.  Maybe now that there's a movie I will soldier on...and I know Laura would want me to. :)

3. Small collection of shorter stuff that includes Flannery O'Connor (Haley would be proud), O. Henry and Graham Greene.

4. Here Be Dragons by Sharon Kay Penman. This is one from a trilogy, but I haven't read the following ones.  Was it Sarah O. who mentioned this one time?  It's a really great book, one that Steven bought for me on a whim (books about dragons must be good). As he gets me to read lots of books...I went along, and really liked it. It's very readable historical fiction. 

5. Contented Dementia by Oliver James.   James does a very good job of clearly explaining a ground-breaking method of dealing with a debilitating and scary disorder. The method may not be the end-all be-all of caring for someone with dementia, but it offers some practical and concrete methods, that even someone with a bare minimum of contact with a person who has dementia could benefit from. 

6. Under the Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken. This is Vanauken's second book, and it's place here is really to serve as a plug for his first, A Severe Mercy. This second one is a bit drier, but the first is simply monumental.  Just go read it please. 

source (w/ review; spoilers alert)

7. Handy-dandy-trusty-dusty Greek and Latin textbooks (Hansen&Quinn and Wheelock).  I hope one day to be organized and on top of things enough to use them to further my dreams of having happy-healthy-handsome-holy sons...

There you have it, folks! Don't forget to go back and check out what Anne, Jessica & Jen have to offer! 

{FF} Top Five Audio Books

Joining Grace for Hallie's Five Favorites this week....

::drum-roll::

Top Five Audio Books for Moms Doing Dishes

Listening to audio-books is something that Steven got me into. I'd love *actually* to read more books, but that requires at least one free hand, and considering that I need three extra hands to keep my boyos in line...not. gunna. happen. At least for now... Anyways. Steve listens to books at work. We have an Audible account, or Steve gets them through the library for free online. [Get to the list already, lady!].  

I really like the results. A lot of the time, I'd rather not wash fifty thousand dishes or fold-all-the-clothes...again, but listening to a good story while I am, makes the time go by faster. A sort of  "whistle-while-you-work", I suppose.  SO, here's my list of a few good "listens". Oh, and I'm picky about the narrator; you can be reading a book I absolutely adore, but if your  voice is all wrong, you're out. First paragraph, your done. What can I say? I was spoiled by years of Wind in the Willows and Chaucer as narrated by my Dad, the best reader I know. 

1. The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay, narrated by Humphry  Bower. 

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I absolutely loved this book. Humphrey Bower does a superb job with the voices and narration, and the story is epic and inspiring. I've heard that the movie version doesn't do the story justice (as is often the case with long books), so if you've seen that, still give the book a try. My brother had to read this in high school, and loved it, so it's gotta be good (forced reading + good is somewhat rare ;)). 

2. The 'Odd Thomas' series by Dean Koontz, narrated by David Aaron Baker

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This is a series about a guy with super-natural abilities, including the gift to see dead people. I know, I know, sounds kind of...whatever, but Koontz is a fun story teller, and Catholic to boot (why is it that Catholic authors of fiction trend towards mystery?). I love how he weaves in some Classical references and how he doesn't ignore the spiritual/religious side of people. His hero is a clean-living-Heaven-hopeful young guy, who gets himself into a world of trouble with every turn. These stories are a lot quicker than some audio books, and definitely entertaining. 

3. The Millenium Triology by Steig Larsson, narrated by Simon Vance 

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Along with The Girl Who Played with Fire & The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was a masterful piece of fiction. I listened to all three, and they were whatever the listening equivalent of "page-turner" is. I'll have to admit that the violent content was way abrasive on my pretty little naive ears at times, and I'd watch out for kiddos listening along with you (read: don't), but Larsson set out to write these books in large part to highlight and condemn violence and mistreatment of women. Overall, well-written stuff, worth checking out. 

4. Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett, narrated by Nigel Planer

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Terry Pratchett cracks. me. up. He is snarky and hilarious. His books are perfect to listen to, because they are the kind that you'd want to read aloud to someone anyhow. After listening to 'Good Omens' (wildly fun), Guards! Guards! just continued the romp.  Pratchett's writings are prolific, so you'll have plenty of fodder for stack upon stack of crusty pots. If you're easily offended by humor that pokes fun at your religion, steer clear, but if you can laugh with the best of them (think Monty Python), you'll enjoy this stuff. 

5. The 'Harry Potter' series by J.K. Rowling, narrated by Jim Dale

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Y'all don't need me to tell you to read these, I hope...but, just in case, here's Haley @ Carrots for Michelmas on the subject of reading Harry, and on Mrs. Weasley.  Listening to Jim Dale narrate an older favorite is lots of fun. It doesn't look like you can get this one on Audible, so hit up your library or buy it online. 

SO, there ya have it, folks! Get in that kitchen, and listen! ;)  

[Does anyone else channel LeVar Burton when recommending books?]

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**I CAN go AN-Y-where....** (...and now you have a song stuck in your head for the day too; you're welcome, come anytime...)

Late for the Party but Wearing my Boots...

{Five Favorites}
linking up with Grace for Hallie's FF
AND
joining Jen for day #3 of the blog challenge}
shhhhh...this is yesterday's post...

So...Five Favorites...I thought about doing an un-Favorites post, since this is a day late and a dollar short, as it were, but since that's basically what I gave you last week...here we go with the realsies!

>>(only) Five Favorite Children's Books<<
Wherein I hold with my trend of pretending to be an actual blogger (see here and here).
Today's version: books!
(For actual book-blogging, check out Julie over @ Julie's World...
She's a book reviewer AND an author!)

I really do love books. I have recently been pretty strict about having fewer toys in the house (because they just make big messes...and who needs toys when you can just spill an entire box of cereal onto the kitchen floor and then smash it into dust, just for fun?), but I don't apply the same rules to books. I'll need to start being more creative about protecting them from small ones (Daniel soaked one in a sink-ful of water and schmeared another with yogurt in the span of about 20 minutes the other day...), but books are welcome here.

Here's a few of our favorites...

1. Rumplestilskin retold and illustrated by Paul O. Zelinsky

Great pictures, clever Momma. Good one.

 2. Why Mosquitoes Buzz in People's Ears by Verna Aardema, picures by Leo and Diane Dillon

African folk tale wherein the Mosquito gets it. 

I remember this one from my school days at St. Patrick's...was it during the unit we did in second grade on Africa? We built huts and dressed in colorful wrap dresses (over top of our lovely green plaid jumpers and yellow blouses or dark blue pants w/ light blue shirts and green plaid ties, of course). 

 3. Anything by Robert McCloskey

We've been reading One Morning in Maine for a while now (aka "The Sal One"),

but I just found Make Way For Ducklings at Ollie's for $2.29. Yes please.

4. Llama Llama Red Pajama, story and pictures by Anna Dewdney

A present from Tia Lizzie Wilber :0)

We love Llama Llama. Anyone who puts "please stop all this llama drama" in a sentence has my vote for sure.

 5. Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame, illustrated by Ernest H. Shepard

With the Ernest Shepard illustrations only please. 

Classic Eddy-kids bedtime story with Dad. With all the voices, of course.

So, what are some of your favorites?