Take the Extra Blanket & 4 Other Important Life Lessons

Each person we encounter holds a richness of life out to us. Experiences, emotions, memories, advice, love, joy, sorrow, laughter, and exactly the right way to make Nana's mac and cheese dinner. Think about the little tricks you've learned from friends and family; oftentimes the truths we learn from each other carry us much further than we may have thought they might.

Here's 5 simple lessons I've learned from folks dear to me, and the deeper lessons we can glean from them.

1. Use the butter wrapper to grease the baking pan
My mother's mother taught us to do this when baking cookies or brownies, and it was so ingrained that I was surprised to learn later in life that not everyone did this, and that it was an echo of Depression-era saving.  This lesson reminds me not to be wasteful; there is one more thing you can do with an object, with a situation, with an idea before you throw it away.

Always baking cookies. (Well, dough.)

2. Make your bed 
Both my grandmothers had us make our beds in the morning when we'd stayed the night with them. I remember doing this more with my father's mother though. Nana was so easy-going with the task, and so unassuming about what the day might hold, but she always had you make your bed. Taking this further, I have realized the importance of doing small tasks, of holding a standard. Life is crazy, but having some constants can really keep you steady.

Not my bed.

3. Draw a picture
My dear friend Katie is an artist, a creative art therapist, a mom, a wife--so she's very inventive and imaginative! Katie has taught me the healing power of art on more than one occasion, but most especially right after the death of my grandmother. She had me work on a memory-drawing that left me feeling very peaceful. We should be mindful that sometimes what our broken hearts need is a break from the usual, and thinking a different way, doing something creative, or trying something new can give us that outlet and calm.

Really close colored pencils.

4. Take the extra blanket
My sister is one of the most generous people I know, and a very gracious host--and she's notorious for getting multiple extra blankets for guests. She loves having plenty of blankets, whereas I could do with just one. Letting her get me extra blankets, though, I've learned that love comes from each person in their own unique way. Another person's actions aren't always going to match your exact love language, but you both win when someone takes care of you--let someone love you.

This dog is happy inside.

5. Sing a song
If you've had dinner with my family, you know our propensity to burst into a musical number at the slightest suggestion of a lyric or tune. Of course singing at the drip of a hat is teaching us to be cheerful, (& know our show tunes!), but even more than that, it's teaching us to be cheerful purposefully--to seek out moments that can be used to lift the spirits of those around us, to shake the wintery-ness out of our hearts.

What lessons have you learned from family and friends that take you through hum-drum days?  What simple advice has hidden gold for you?


Obvious stock photos credit: pixabay.com

Linking up w/ Jenna at Call Her Happy for #5Faves :) 

Why Bother?

Looking at a mom's life up close may be a dose of birth control for some, and rightly so. Loooong days and nights of infant non-sleep, toddler antics, pre-schooler vomit sessions, the monotony of redirection every 2.5 seconds, car-pool express lanes, and negotiating nap time--it's just not glamorous. 

So, why bother?

Pregancy isn't fun--even Kate Middleton gets criticized at every move of it--labor & delivery is a marathon of effort, and parenting "advice" is dispensed at the tip of every grocery store clerk and old man in the waiting room's tongue.

So, why bother?

You  might have a miscarriage. Your baby might have a birth defect or disorder. Your child might get deathly sick. Your child may die.

So, why bother?

You will be sapped for energy physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. It will be "all joy, no fun" (as this book from Jennifer Senior puts it). It will be golden blissful moments buried under Legos, cheese sticks, nose-picking, and diapers. 

So, why bother?

It will be gross: spit-up, vomit, snot, poop, urine, rashes, more poop, more spit-up, more vomit. You'll probably gain weight.  You won't fit into your wardrobe most of the time because of the body changes. People will comment on your size, your haircut, your choice on anything about how you look.

So, why bother?

You won't get enough sleep, you won't eat properly, you'll neglect your hobbies, you'll slack on your exercise. You'll form crutches of sugar, caffiene, alcohol, or Twitter like nobody's business. You'll want a break and not get one for months.

So, why bother?

Why not?

It won't be as hard as you think. You'll have help from corners you'd forgotten. You'll become the expert. *You're* the mom.

So, why not?

It's not as bad as they'll tell you.  You'll have good days and bad days and medium days. You'll overcome obstacles and get things done anyhow. You'll rock your work, your school, your hobbies, your health (--at least some of the time!)

So, why not?

You can use your snark to create come-backs to the Official Board of Advice-Strangers.

So, why not?

Those little people really will be cute little stinkers--who say hilarious things, and do ridiculous things, and have the best logical little arguments for everything.

So, why not?

You'll get to brainwash impart your particular brand of crazy onto the next generation.

So, why not?

Everything worth doing, is worth doing work for. It will be hard, and you won't like it 100% of the time. You will cry, you will want to move to a foreign country by yourself.  You will hide in the bathroom to send witty (ha!) Tweets.

But you will be in awe of the job you have been given, the beautiful little persons you have taken part in creating.

You will get lots of hugs.

You will be loved.

So, why bother? Why not?

Yellow Ribbon: The Agony of Waiting & How We Can Help

I recently had to be a single mom again for a week (well...for five days...and my mom was visiting, and my in-laws live just down the road...so I am a wimp...but anyways...!)

Steven had to go out of town for work and I was on [ahem] my own. It sucked.  I really really don't like being on my own. You probably know the feeling...adrift, with no hope of rescue in sight and the days drag about 15 times slower than they normally do, which is pretty dang slow.  Lemme tell ya.

ANY-ways. This isn't all about me {gasp!}.

My dear, dear sister is currently enduring the monster of all separations, otherwise known as military deployment of your husband to a foreign and dangerous place for the longest amount of time there is: nearly a year. Blech of all blechs.

Now, I know that my sister doesn't want me to use my tiny public forum to call attention to herself, or to make you pity her. No, not at all, but perhaps I can enlighten you a little bit, and you'll remember to thank your soldiers, and mail them care-packs, and hug their loved ones waiting at home.

source

Firstly, you should know that the wives and families of military folks know that their soldiers are worse off. The soldiers are in strange places with dangerous events and less than ideal (often way, way less than ideal) levels of hygiene and creature comforts. This is part of the agony: knowing that no matter how much it stinks to wait at home, someone you love is going through something worse.  This can even be a two-fold addition to the problem: feeling bad for them plus feeling bad that you feel sorry for yourself when you have it so much better.

My two brothers...one of these guys is not like the other...

The thing is, the rest of us can't really do much to alleviate the stress of being apart for these military families. They feel lonely, but not generalized lonely--they are lonely for a specific and most cherished person. Often our well-meant inquiries about how things are going can just add to the problem, with Army wives having to scramble for yet another way to answer the oft-asked "how's he doing?".  We mean well, but we'd probably do better just to be extra nice and just offer opportunities for interaction or assistance (go to a movie, go for a walk...even grocery shopping, or better yet: rake leaves...wash dishes!), keeping in mind that sometimes it's nice just to be home alone for an episode of Downton Abbey or something instead (in other words, offer to hang out or to do something helpful, but the answer isn't always going to be a yes). Pamper the military families you know, and pray for their soldiers.  

If you're like me, however, you'd also like some concrete ways to help.  You're more than welcome to support my favorite brother-in-law...but he might get overwhelmed if you all do that (all two of you, my faithful readers...!), SO here's some other ways you can help from home:

1. Thank a soldier. When you see someone in uniform, thank him.  You don't have to be profuse or say anything you've prepared ahead; just say thanks, or shake his hand. Acknowledge that though his service may be voluntary, it is still a profound sacrifice that the rest of us benefit from daily. 

Crew 57, 62nd Squadron, 39th Bomb Group, 20th Air Force (USAAF): 2Lt. Harry Eddy.

2. Send your money to the USO. These folks are right there with the troops, providing support on a daily basis.  A dear friend of my family, and church back home, works with the USO...they do wonderful work!

USO rocks :)

3. Pray for our soldiers. The prayer below is from the USCCB, who have multiple prayers on this site for soldiers and their families, and even a small prayer service for sending troops off. 

Almighty and eternal God,those who take refuge in you will be glad 
and forever will shout for joy.Protect these soldiers as they discharge their duties.
Protect them with the shield of your strength
and keep them safe from all evil and harm.
May the power of your love enable them to return home
in safety, that with all who love them,
they may ever praise you for your loving care.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.

There are *tons* of other different groups out there showing their appreciation for our soldiers. Pick one and run with it! Here's a sampling of some I found with a quick little Google search:

Yellow Ribbon Photographers
Pro-photography free of charge to servicemen so that they have a
piece of home with them while they're gone
(Also special photo shoots for occasions they may miss, like the birth of a child)

Adopt a Soldier 

Operation Shower
Provides "joyful" baby showers to military families

employer/job-seeker site for hiring veterans!

These folks are working towards  physical and emotional rehab
for vets and active military personnel--through FLY FISHING programs!

sends needed items & love notes to troops overseas

supports families back home & troops abroad

lists of items soldiers need and you pick where to send them

We thank our soldiers, and we pray for them and their closest family. May they swiftly be brought back together in the sweet delight of homecoming, that mere taste of that future joy which we hope to attain, through Jesus Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Fear & Loving

I am afraid.

I am afraid of a lot of things. I fear that my sons won't grow up to be happy, healthy, handsome and holy. I fear that they won't grow up at all. I fear accidental deaths. I fear drivers who text. I fear being attacked on a nursing visit. I fear being attacked in my home. I fear falling down the stairs while carrying a child. I fear being in some accident that leaves me maimed for life. I fear mental illness or delayed development in my boys. I fear rape. I fear for my loved ones. I fear miscarriages, chronic illnesses and major surgeries. I am afraid of taking a wrong step, of giving a patient the wrong or insufficient information, and leading to their increased illness or untimely death.

I am afraid.

Now, some of my fears are completely rational. Some of them are silly or unfounded. Many of them are useful for compelling my actions, leading me to take extra precaution or to double-check important things.

Secretly, though, I am afraid of the unknown, and I don't know where my trust has gone.

I used to trust so well.  I remember when Steven and I were dating, and I realized that being so close to someone could lead to major heartache. I realized that I had to trust God that I was supposed to continue, that He would hold me if I stepped out further on the branch.  I had to trust that the branch would hold, but even if it would not, I had to trust that God's hands were big enough to catch me.


I know that I need to let go of my fears; I need to find that place of trust again.  I have been thinking about fears today, after hearing a piece on the radio.  The woman being interviewed, Dawn Eden, is the author of a book for victims of sexual abuse. Now, thank the good Lord in Heaven, I was never in such a situation myself.  One particular statement she made, however, has been sounding a bell in my heart today.

She pointed out that Christ on the cross did not say to those crucifying Him, "I forgive you." Rather, He said, "Father, forgive them." (Luke 23:34)  Father forgive them.  Her point was, that Christ's example wasn't to go directly to those who were crucifying Him and open Himself up to further abuses.  He gave it to God to forgive. Indeed, St. Paul tells us, 

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God; for it is written, 'Vengence is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'" (Romans 12:19 {cross-reference: Leviticus 19:18 & Deuteronomy 32:35})

My fears are preemptive acts of un-forgiveness, walls built up, instead of trust laid down. My creature-ly heart doesn't believe that I can forgive sins against me or my loved ones, doesn't imagine that I could cope with the worst situations I can conjure.

And I am right. I  can do none of that.

My heart remembered today a truth that I had forgotten.  I cannot change what the future holds: there is likely a lot of heartache and trial and rocky-road ahead in my life, but His love is big enough to cover it.  His mercy is great enough to forgive it.  His peace is surpassing enough to smooth it all out.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day. (Matthew 6:34)

No good thing does the Lord withhold from those who walk uprightly. (Psalm 84:11)

{7QT} Wait...these are always Random Edition

Joining Jen as always...head back there for the real stuff ;)

1. I mentioned before that Marie was coming.
Well, she did, and it was lovely!  We had great times catching up on our reflective converstations and corralling the boyos into some semblance of normal (ha!). Daniel chose this week to be extra...off his game. Teething? Growth spurt? Both? Yes. All that aside, we'll be missing "fwiend Mawie" now...and our applications to the Royal Geographic Society for the Switching of the States Placement in the Continent has grown again (Ohio-Maine-Washington-NH-Indiana...party over here!). 

2. One of the fun things we did was to go see "Star Trek: Into Darkness" with Steven.
Steve's parents watched the boyos (I *actually* got Daniel to take a third nap to prep for a late night! Wow! I get a prize for that, right?) It was so much fun! Plus there is a dollar theater here...so we all got to go for $3. Yup. True dat. (Any takers on visiting Ohio now?!). Also there was this guy:

Source

A'int nobody hating on a movie with Sherlock. Nope.

3. After sitting on this post for a while, I finally published it today. Reflections started from hearing Mackelmore's 'Same Love'. I hope it's received well; I AM talking about getting along! : )

4. Did you see this?!
Our dear Sr. Agnes Therese Davis (the artist formerly known as Emily), made her First Profession of Vows on Tuesday with the Franciscan Sisters TOR. She's been a novice and postulant there for...three (?) years now, and this is a pretty big deal. 

Also, she is just emits joy, doesn't she? And if you didn't see this from me earlier, check it out as well. This is a song that Sr. Agnes Therese composed. Simply lovely.

5. #35K4SMA
So, I've been trying to get back into running regularly. It is HARD to be disciplined! I went for a week...and then petered out. BUT, I saw this post today from Kelly over @ This A'int the Lyceum. She is a funny and cheery mom of five kids, TWO of whom have Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA), which is basically NOT a walk in the park. Anyhow, she's committing to 7 5K runs to add up to 35K For SMA. It's a fund-raiser-awareness campaign...should I hop on the wagon? :D

6. We went to visit some dear friends last night, and had a blast. We got to see the lambikins that our ram (Mean Black Sheep himself) fathered earlier this year. SO CUTE! Daniel called them "baby". And Leo played outside w/ the boys. In the rain. Basically little guy heaven.

two little ramikins

don't let the face fool you. he had a blast.

7. For those of you who know Davy Crockett personally, and remember (how could we forget?!) that Leo wore this hat constantly (to church. to bed. all. the time.) for about 3 months this past winter/spring, will be happy to know that there is a new sheriff in town. 

Introducing...Daniel Boone!

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 1)

7 Quick Takes Friday

("7 Quick Takes Friday" was started and is hosted

by blogger Jennifer Fulwiler at Conversion Diary)

So, if you stopped by for a visit today, here's what you'd get from me.  Thoughts on several things, all connecting in my brain...swirling around and--here ya go. 

-1-

BABIES - the world needs more of them.

Read: "America's Baby Bust" by Jonathan V. Last in The Wall Street Journal

Nope, not kidding. The whole over-population-crowding out the globe thing just isn’t the case. In fact, we’re shrinking, and have been since the early 1970s (ring a bell, anyone?), with only a slight blip of growth called the Baby Boom.  With contracting populations come economic problems, go figure. 

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death." 

--from Rudyard Kipling’s ‘The Gods of the Copybook Headings

-2-

Tolerance – see the other post--I got too long-winded for comment here...

-3-

Could you ever resist this smile?

I am reminded again this week how blessed I am to have a team-mate in this parenting adventure. Steve has been away to Texas for work—and “single-mom” is just...hard!

-4-

I almost forgot to say something controversial about guns. I’ll let Ted do it for me. There’s also "The Gun is Civilization" by Maj. L. Caudill, USMC (Ret), which you can find here.

-5-

Lent is coming! (--look busy!)

Look here for suggestions on the prayer, fasting, almsgiving J

-6-

And here my late-night blogging was interrupted by Leo’s late-night hollering and my discovery of his spiking a fever L. Having sick kiddos is not fun, and can often be scary for Mommas; I think this is largely in part because they can’t really tell you what is wrong.  And on this note, did you know that February 11^th is World Day of the Sick? and that the sick and their care-givers can get a plenary indulgence? Yup. That’s right. Oh, you didn’t realize indulgencies were still a thing? Yes indeedy.

-7-

I’ll leave you with a pep talk for your day.

“You got air coming through your nose!”