{FF} Top 5 Tips for Moms of Newborns

Three very dear friends (Sarah + *two* others!) are very close to meeting brand new babies this month, and I couldn't be more excited for them!  In honor of the new babes on the way, I consulted my Mom Guru, my friend Ellie, and we came up with some tips. Now, these are more for the new mom of a newborn, but you veterans out there should glean something! So, since I'm obviously an expert (ha.ha.), here's the tips...

1. Be prepared, (but know that there's only so much you can prepare).
Get stocked up on the practical, basic things you'll need for the first little time after you get home from the hospital.  Get some witch hazel and some mega-huge pads.  Find a comfortable nursing tank top, and maybe an item or two that makes you feel pretty, like a nail polish or a lip balm, because you are going to look for a while, as Grace puts it, like you've been hit by a truck.  Know, however, that there is only so much you can do to get ready for this new life. At some point, she's going to arrive, and send your expectations flying, and you will be the mom. 

2. Remember that the days are short but the years fly by. 
You are going to get tired of hearing "enjoy it now, it flies by" or "they grow up so fast!". When you are sleep-strained and wishing that they would just know one thing to do on their own, you don't want to hear that you're supposed to enjoy something!  So, as Ellie puts it, "tuck away as many memories of your sweet baby as possible...how he smells and smiles and giggles, his fat rolls and soft skin. These memories will serve you well when he turns into a rowdy, unruly toddler who draws on your new couch in black permanent marker".

3. Rest.
While it's not really realistic to "sleep when the baby sleeps" (that's often the only time for showering, dishes, vacuuming, calling a friend or painting your nails as well...), the sentiment is true for sure, especially if you're using up a bunch of calories by breastfeeding.  Your sleep is going to be disrupted, so snatch it where you can.  If a friend offers help, ask them to hold the baby while you take a nap!  Otherwise try to keep a restful attitude for the first few weeks so that your body can recover.  Don't try to have tons of company over to go to all the events there are.  Lay low, start slow. 

4. This too shall pass
I think the most helpful piece of advice I received as a first-time-hassled mom was also from Ellie.  She told me that the super-fussy day/night flipped schedule Leo was keeping was just a phase that he'd grow out of by about 6/7 weeks old.  I was so relieved!  6-7 weeks may sound like an eternity, but just knowing that there was an end in sight made it all easier.  I have continued to remind myself of this advice as the boys have gotten older.  With each new weird sleeping pattern or frustrating behavior that requires constant re-direction, I think "it's just a phase", and it's true!  Moreover, we need them to have these phases, because they are forming us too.  As mothers we are constantly called to rebirth.  As our little one's babyhood passes away, toddler-hood is born and on and on.  So in each stage we face a newness and an overwhelming that molds us into better mothers.  Don't fight this pruning.  It's OK, and it definitely doesn't mean you are a bad mom.

5. It's OK to feel like you have no idea what you're doing
It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and shocked and unprepared for motherhood.  It's healthy to have these feelings because they are the beginning of learning.  They are, as Ellie puts it, "the birth pains of your path of motherhood".  You're learning as you go, but you are that baby's mom.  You are the one whom God chose from all time and eternity to be the mother to this baby at this particular time in your life, and in history.  Your particular gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, personality, experiences, doubts, and knowledge are what your child needs.

My Momma rocking it with her cutest child ;)

*Bonus Links*
Toddler Tips
Momma Said
Best Baby Shower Gift
Just Enjoy
The Myth of Motherhood

Joining Hallie over @Moxie Wife for Five Favorites!

Dirt with Seeds In

After procrastinating the seed planting for 3-4 weeks, I've finally got some seeds into the dirt!  It is very fortunate that Steven and I are forgetful in different areas.  I remember people's names, and he remembers that I bought bags of planting soil on sale last fall to have this spring.  (Right, *I* bought them, and didn't remember!)  

Not much to see here, but the tote is full of dirt, the seed packets are from Johnny's...and now they're best  friends in the seed trays.

I planted a lot of tomatoes (mostly of the paste variety, so we can make tomato sauce at the end of the summer) and peppers (so we can make pepper mustard at the end of the summer).  Also some broccoli and Brussels sprouts, because: green.  Also also some tomatillos, because: I like to say tomatillo.

The garden isn't tilled up yet, because it's too cold to plant (unless you are daring/have more energy to cover things when it gets cold) and too wet also...and because: no plants yet ;).  We'll keep you posted for sure as the little dears start to grow!

This post is dedicated to Laura and Cate, who always take a kindly interest in the goings-on at Black Sheep Farm (and garden) :D.  Hi Laura and Cate!

Things I've Learned from NPR Lately

Ok, by "lately" I mean...two months ago...but, that's how we roll.  I have mentioned before that I listen to NPR a lot in the car.  This is why I'm notoriously behind the times with knowing what songs are "hip" now.  I do, however, get to learn a lot from the folks over at public radio.  (Who, by the way, have such ecclectic names! I am always wondering if having an interesting name is part of the hiring requirements over there, or if people change their name when they become NPR reporters.)  An-e-ways.

Two separate stories struck me. Firstly was an interview with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the astrophysicist.

One of the things Mr. Tyson spoke about was his dislike with people calling him, and other very intelligent people, "gifted".  He said, no, he had to work very hard to get to where he is now.  I think that this is very important to remember.  We do have God-given talents and propensities, but there is still actual work involved in our success.  All too often we look at others' achievements and discount them because "that's their gift".  Similarly, we decide that we "can't" do something or another because we just aren't gifted in that area, or we don't have the personality for it.  While it is true that certain tasks are more difficult for some people than others, it does not give us a free pass on life.  Whether we are strong or weak in a particular area of our lives, there is work required.

The second piece that got me thinking was some remarks from correspondent Miles O'Brien, who recently had a partial arm amputation due to acute compartment syndrome after an incident with a heavy case falling on his arm.

source

O'Brien was actually on NPR to report his story on the Fukushima nuclear disaster, but he stayed on at the end of the piece to speak with the NPR host about his injury.  O'Brien was marvelously upbeat about his life moving forward, and said something to the effect of  "Life is a series of challenges, some that we chose, and some that are sent to us..." 

What hit me most about his words at the time was the fact that there are challenges that we chose.  Think about it.  There is so much in life that we don't chose--shouldn't we be more choosy about what we do chose?

This ties in with something I learned from watching the first episode of Call the Midwife (...it's on PBS, it can go w/ stuff from NPR!) with Steven the other day. (Yeah, he bought it for me, and watched it with me.  I like him.).  One of the midwives says something like, "Sometimes we just have to deal with what the Lord sends."

A friend of mine says that I am like Nurse Lee. I'll take it! ;)
source

Sometimes the situations we are handed are less than (our) ideal.  A lot of times, actually.  So, we work to make our strengths stronger and our weaknesses smaller, we pick our battles, and we roll with the punches.  Why? 

Because life. Life is work.  Life is joy.  Life is beautiful.